I’m in a creative trough right now.
Not the kind of trough that would put me at risk of being eaten by pigs. The bottom of a wave kind of trough. A low point.
I’ve had trouble getting started with a blog post. It feels like I’m walking into a wall over and over and over again.
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt like this. I actually know the feeling pretty well. I don’t like it, I kind of hate it actually. But I spend a lot of time with it. Kind of like that coworker that you have to put up with, and that you wish would get fired or would at least quit. Although it would be better if they were fired.
I’m feeling angry that I’m feeling tired because I’m not feeling creative.
Having feelings about feelings is never a good idea. It’s absurd, but I know these meta-feelings pretty well. It is the formula that fuels my anxiety.
Feelings naturally pass, so in order to sustain a mood you need to provide it with some more fuel. Nothing works better that getting upset about how your feeling.
So I feel frustrated right now because I’m not feeling creative. I’m not feeling creative because I’m feeling frustrated with myself for not doing more work this past week. My frustration about not doing work in the past is the cause of me not doing work right now. The only way out is to just let the past go. To accept that there is nothing that I can do about it anymore, and to realize that having negative feelings about it doesn’t serve me at all.
The good thing about these loops or meta-feelings is that once you notice them the feelings tend to melt away. Once you realize that you are just fueling your own bad mood, the feeling fades, you breathe a little deeper and feel a little more at peace with life.
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