I started to get momentum in why life when I stopped thinking about why I was where I was. I started to learn about why I was failing at things. Why I couldn’t find my passions. Why I would start something new and then fail.
I started digging into my childhood. I began to understand the things I didn’t like about myself were not things that are inherent about who I was, but rather things that I had learned growing up.
Once I learned that these behaviors came from somewhere, there seemed to be less pressure about making them go away. I was able to accept them more. I was able to understand the behavior since I could see where it came from. And eventually, the things I didn’t like about myself started to go away.
Even today there are things that I am struggling with. I keep fighting them. Trying to resist and pretend it is not a problem. Eventually, I realize that the way out is by diving in. That I will only be able to change once I accept where I am at, and understand the causes of the things I want to change.
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