Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, wrote a self-help book called How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big. It has a long title, but it’s a short, humorous book and well worth reading.
One of the foundational ideas in the book is that humans are not that different from robots. We are strange, weird, and sometimes confusing, but it is possible to program yourself and the people you interact with. He calls it the Moist Robot Hypothesis. I think he’s onto something.
Humans are a lot like computers. That is why all the analogies of the mind with a computer stick. But, unlike robots, we quickly and regularly forget our instructions. We set out to start a diet, or a blog, or a book, and a few months down the road we look back and say, “Huh, I completely forgot about that.”
Our goals, thoughts, values, and plans all change depending on the situations we are in. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it is important to be aware of when we are trying to do long term things.
If we want to program ourselves to do something in the long run, we need to account for the fact that we are going to forget our plans pretty quickly. We need to account for the fact that our conscious desires may not be in line with our subconscious programming (mostly habits).
What is subconscious programming?
We operate on two levels; you can call them the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind is what you think you are using right now. The conscious mind thinks about cause and effect, and about the long term. It was the thing that you were using when you made your to-do list this morning. The subconscious is the way most of your behavior actually happens. The subconscious is how you ended up on youtube instead of working through your to-do list.
The subconscious runs on cravings, routines, and habits. When you eat pizza and then feel a strong pull to eat ice cream. When you feel sad and feel a strong pull to chocolate. When you feel stressed and feel a strong pull to Youtube. When you feel bored and find yourself on Facebook. You’re not thinking about these things rationally; you’re just doing them.
When you want to make a change to your actions, you can’t just make a decision; you need to change your programming.
How do you change your programming?
Slowly.
One day you look in the mirror and notice that you are looking a bit chunky. You’ve got some extra padding around your waist, so you decide that you are going to start eating more salad. That’s a conscious decision, but it has almost no impact on your long-term behavior.
Later that night a friend invited you for a drink, and after having a beer, you’re feeling pretty hungry. You take a look at the menu, and even though there is a salad section, you order a burger. In your head, you know that you probably shouldn’t have ordered a burger, but it just felt so right.
When we change our programming, we change what feels right.
To change the way we feel we need to change our associations. What do you associate with salad?
I associate it with iceberg lettuce, with barely any dressing, and feeling hungry immediately after I’ve eaten
With these associations attached to salad, I’m never going to find myself eating it regularly. We can use will power to force ourselves to do things we don’t want to do, like eating salad, but willpower is limited. By the end of a long day, you’ve got none left. To make real changes you can’t rely on will power; you have to reprogram yourself.
So to change my associations about salad I have to think consciously about things that make me feel good while I’m eating salad. Perhaps I can watch my favorite tv show while I eat salad, so that when I’m reminded of the show I’m reminded of salad. Or I can eat some chocolate after I eat salad, but not when I eat something else. This requires less willpower and eventually the same happy feelings you attach to chocolate will start to blend into your feelings about salad.
With food, we typically have a strong association with a food item that comes from childhood. To replace that requires conscious effort. Spending a minute every morning thinking vividly about the best salad you’ve ever eaten sounds a little weird, but over time that is the association you would unconsciously make with salad.
Remember that these changes take place slowly over time. What feels hard today will feel a little less hard tomorrow. Eventually, with enough commitment, you will find yourself automatically defaulting to the things you were once forcing yourself to do.
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