In 2014 I made the decision to leave my career path, to start a podcast, and to get a job at a cafe.
For years I had wanted to start my own business and work for myself, but I had never done anything about it.
After college, I had found a job that paid well and looked reasonably good to people. It met my basic needs, but it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing.
At the start of Zero to One, Peter Theil discusses how the winners in our education system can go on to lose in the long term holistic view.
They achieved great grades at Ivy League schools and walked into high-paying jobs at law firms and Wall Street Banks. These young adults are the subjects of envy for millions. At a young age they have secured material enrichment, but in accepting the high paying, high-status jobs they often secure their spiritual impoverishment.
Winning at this game has deceived them into forgetting that they are playing a game. They have achieved success in the eyes of society. Money and status. But most give up on achieving personal success, a fulfilling and enjoyable life.
I was lucky to lose before it was too late.
It took me until I was 23 to fail, but I finally did, and It allowed me to take a step back and to see that the motivation behind my desires was to feel better than my peers. To make more money, to have a career with more prestige. Losing allowed me to understand that this wouldn’t give me any sense of true satisfaction, even when I was winning.
So a created a different life.
I worked at a cafe to deprive myself of external validation.
Looking like a failure to my peer group led me closer to success. It allowed me to separate my identity from the job I had; to separate my view of achievement from the conventional societal view and to lead a self-directed life.
This lesson has become a cliche and yet so few people actually follow it.
We are programmed to seek approval from our groups. It is incredibly hard to maintain independence.
When we aren’t paying attention we all will find ourselves acting in a way that seeks approval from our peer group. It is human nature.
What is important to remember is that what looks like success to your peers may not be what success is to you.
This is easy to see when you aren’t receiving praise. When you aren’t winning. The true challenge is to treat praise and compliments in the same way. To notice when you are being held up as a model of success and ask, is this truly what I want to be doing? And if the answer is no, to fearlessly look like a failure to your former fans.
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