Forgetting That You Forgot

One of the interesting, but challenging parts of being human is the capacity you have to normalize things.

We are adaptability machines–we can take any situation and get used to it. This impacts life in a lot of ways, like the discomforts we can accept in our day to day lives. But it also impacts our ability to be happy.

There are things that we learn to do to feel good–exercise, hanging out with friends, spending time in nature—but if you don’t do those things for long enough, you will find that you don’t actively miss it. If it disappears from your life slowly enough, you will forget that you are forgetting it.

If you stop going to the gym, you may crave it for the first two weeks, but after that, you will start thinking of it less and less. Months later you almost never will. Only when you do go back will you realize how good it felt to exercise.

I find myself experiencing this all the time–whether it is the clear head I get from yoga or the energy and excitement I get from a good conversation with a friend–I don’t make time for these activities and forget about how good they feel. I go for long stretches without realizing that I’m missing them until some circumstance brings me back and reminds me.

To live a good life, we have to set ourselves up with commitments and structure that consistently remind of us the important things in our lives, so that we don’t forget. Things like building in a daily exercise habit or scheduling a monthly coffee with a friend. Only with automated structure can you ensure that you don’t forget about the enjoyable activities that you are forgetting about.