In Be Slightly Evil by Venkatesh Rao, he draws a divide between Idealist and Tragic views of humans ability to change. The idealist view is that you can change human nature, the tragic view is that you can’t.
The irony is that by holding a tragic view, you take on external projects that actually create personal change instead of focusing on personal development which often goes nowhere.
“Idealists trap themselves into these cul-de-sacs of incremental change partly through life choices and partly through a metaphysical own-goal.
The life choice is simply the act of focusing directly on change rather than challenging external projects. The idealist goes off on a Zen retreat looking directly for change. The tragedian starts a business or writes a book and then resists and ultimately accepts the change as an inevitable consequence. Good or bad, it is a rebirth.”
Forgetting your views on human nature, there is real truth to the idea that personal change only really happens as a side effect.
You create the conditions for change by committing to a project that will force you to change (usually in ways you can’t define at the outset), not by trying to drill and practice making changes removed from context.
If you want to learn to be more responsible and organized, don’t try to improve those qualities in the abstract, try to start a business.
If you want to learn to be calm under pressure, don’t sit around meditating, get a job in a kitchen.
Personal growth that works happens as a side-effect, not as a direct result of your planning.
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