One thing I’ve learned as I’ve grown older is how misguided it is to think about being “authentic”.
When we are at a certain age we think of it as being wrong to not be “authentic”–usually referring to how it’s bad to be more social in certain situations or be a certain way at work and a different way at home. As I’ve gotten more life experience, it is obvious that is a very unhelpful way to see things.
Our lives put us in many different contexts, and different contexts call for us to act in different ways. If you go skiing you aren’t going to talk a lot, if you do you probably are yelling at friends. You’re very focused on the environment and not on saying hello to strangers. If you’re at work, you say hello to people you see at the water cooler, you don’t think much about the environment, and you are focused on ideas and relationships.
Neither of those versions of you is inauthentic. Who we are is an expression of all the different ways we show up in all sorts of different situations. And to reach a point where you can be successful at work, at home, and in other areas, you need to learn to embrace what the best version of you is in each scenario.
To be a fully realized person is not to be the exact same in every situation, but to learn to embrace the many facets of who you are and get comfortable with each part.
If you are obsessed with being authentic, then you can’t relax and be a kind and loving parent at home while also being focused, confident, and decisive at work. If you show up at work and act as you do around your kids, you will probably get fired.
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