I remember vividly a moment of being on a tour in Jamaica and it was just me and the guide and my wife. We were sitting in silence and I was feeling a bit awkward and like I should say something.
At that moment I realized that there were things I was curious about, there was a series of thoughts in my head wondering about a whole bunch of stuff, but I had completely disconnected my voice from my curiosity.
I was a pretty shy and introverted kid and learned at some point that I shouldn’t say anything unless I had something really good to say. It led me to be in my head a lot in social situations and to have an overly strong filter.
As a result of not saying what was on my mind I missed opportunities to connect with people, I didn’t create deeper relationships, and I didn’t enjoy social situations.
I would have told you that often “I just don’t know what to say”, but the reality was that the entire time my head was full of observations thoughts, and questions. I had just learned at some point that I should keep them to myself.
I had ignored that voice of curiosity for so long that it was very very faint. But at that moment I decided I would just ask the questions as they came to me. As a result, I learned lots of stuff and got to know a lot more about our tour guide.
Since then it’s stuck with me that in any situation I’m in I can tap into that curiosity and create conversation.
Sometimes it’s good to be quiet and observe, but that shouldn’t come from a desire to avoid attention or a fear of what might come if you aren’t self-censoring.
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